I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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