Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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