Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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