Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
