i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Randomize
