Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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