i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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