When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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