walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
