after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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