Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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