She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
