I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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