Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
