It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
