Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
