I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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