She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
