Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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