Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
