I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
