The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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