dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
