please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
