I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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