Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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