You can't motorboat a personality
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Randomize
