My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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