how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
