I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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