The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Terrible idea I love it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
