Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
