question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
do herpes really smell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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