You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
