Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize