Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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