okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
