Porn is love you can see.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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