I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
