I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
