rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
