So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
