I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
