You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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