i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
