Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
