no, he came in my armpit
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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