Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
