All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
