I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
