Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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