Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
