We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
