My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
