Sry I called you an 8
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
