the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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