I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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