So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the day after is always just damage control
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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