yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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