I hope mine doesn't look like that
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
