..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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