Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
