He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
