maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He better not be in your backpack
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
