Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
