he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
