I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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