hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
