i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
